There is no excitement for me as this school year comes to a close and I wonder what has changed. A few
years ago when I got off on the last day of school, I would feel this glorious burst of freedom. I would look forward to that feeling all year long. Perhaps because my time off has been whittled down to a short month,
I no longer feel that sense of time, all those possibilities out in front of me. This month off will be a jumble of
obligations and animal care-taking, and a lovely trip to the Oregon Coast with Jill for 4 days. I look forward to it, but know that August 1st will be quick to set itself on my alarm clock.
I have finished my crocheted baby blanket, have been working on a few other crochet projects in the evening and have not set foot in my sewing room which makes me feel incomplete. A herniated disc in my neck makes it difficult to sit at my sewing machine right now...as well as do many other things comfortably. It is a hiccup in my efforts to get stronger and keep my health moving in a positive direction. However, with the warmer weather I am happy to be outside and that is a natural encouragement to get more exercise.
I can't wait for Kali and Ryan to get here - I look forward to having their company on walks and to fill the quiet in the house. Sometimes depression feels like it is hovering around just waiting for me to let my guard down. I miss Charlie terribly and after 28 years of losing him to the fishing grounds, it never gets easier.
The first week is always a relief of having him out of the house, his expectations and opinions. But after that I just want my husband back and forget all the things he does that annoy me :)
So, a sunny Sunday has been gifted to us and I will make the best of it. A long walk with Buster Brown,
some time on the porch and more preparations for Kali and Ryan to move in. I will not think of work today or allow tendrils of sadness to slip in, I will just go out under that beautiful blue sky.
